Jane Mitchell asked:


If you have been having a hard time getting a date, you are not alone. The reason why there are so many online dating sites now is because although there are “many fishes in the sea,” the sea is so vast that we have a hard time meeting the right girl, let alone getting a date with her.

So, in this day and age, what are the best ways to get a date?

1. You can start by not being afraid to get rejected. I mean, come on, yes it hurts that when you ask for a girl’s digits, she gives out lame excuses like, she does not believe in cell phones or that she is a ******* but hey, no foul, no play right? This is one of the best ways to get a date.

2. Girls like men oozing with self-confidence. You may hear this a lot, and this may not be new advise. The reason for that is that it because it is true. Do not confuse confidence with arrogance.

3. Bring you’re “A game” all the time. At least be presentable, shower before hitting your special spot, comb your hair, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, floss and make sure you slap some deodorant on. Add a dash of cologne subtly if you want. If you really are looking for the best ways to get a date, then this is one.

4. If you put too much pressure in introducing yourself to girls, then you will just end up having clammy hands and stuttering like a 4 year old in front of a class play. Relax. Breathe. If you are in a bar, drink one shot to loosen up your nerves. This does not mean get silly drunk.

5. Smile! A warm and genuine smile can lighten up any mood and it can make anyone feel more comfortable.

6. One of the best ways to get a date after you do end up sputtering and stuttering like a buffoon is to make a joke out of it. Try this. As soon as she gives you that quizzical look as if her face is asking what seems to be wrong with this guy, ***** the tension by saying, “Sorry, beautiful girls intimidate me.” Then add a real chuckle after.

7. Make the conversation to way once you have introduced yourself to the girl. You talk, then she talks. Balance it out.

8. In terms of the place that are classic factors, then do not shy away from the usual places like, bars, clubs, watering holes, etcetera. Then, if you want more unconventional areas to get a date, join a club or an organization or go to a place where you will meet people that have the same passion and interests as you do. These places will easily give you new acquaintances that you may end up dating.

These are just some of the many tips to get that date you always wanted. However, for the best of the best ways to get a date, you have to know the time and tested techniques to grab that girl.

Divya asked:


Yippee! Its April Fools Day. Time to get naughty and mischievous. Be a trickster and play pranks on others with your witty plots. ***** rib-tickling jokes and make all LOL. Pull others leg and puzzle them with riddles and brainteasers. Get in a monkey business and drive everyone crazy – everything is fair on April Fools Day. Bug everyone and share a dose of healthy laughter.

Popularly known as All Fools Day in many countries, the day has been observed for centuries. It received its name from the custom of playing practical jokes, tricks, hoaxes, gags, fools errand and side-splitting fun upon unsuspecting people. The victim of your prank is called an April Fool.

Bluff your friends and let all hell break lose. Dupe all, as you try your hands on all-time perfect hoaxes. We have April Fools Day Pranks galore:

- Get really nasty, if your victim blow-dries their hairs, take talcum powder or substance like flour, makeup, colors or foam and put it in the front end of the blow drier. Clean the blow drier nicely so it looks spotless. When your victim uses the blow drier, the powder will shoot out on their face. Make sure you click the pictures of this embarrassing moment.

- Collect aluminum cans and start layering it on your victims door. To keep cans in place, tape it to the doorframe. And when victim opens the door, due to suction all the cans will crash down on them.

- Have a cracking April Fools Day! Take those firecrackers with the string on each end that explodes when you pull the string. Fasten the bunch of these firecrackers to your targets door with the duct tape. When they open the door, it will set off the chain reaction. Boom of crackers will be embarrassing for them.

- Take cardboard and place it over the prankee doorframe. Tape the cardboard and put a giant bag of popcorn kernel over it. Fill it with popcorns and as prankee opens the door, they will be greeted by flood of popcorns!

This April 1, get Jiggy on the party floor and have a raucous time. Slip into a Shaggy Dog Story and brim the day with hilarious gags and jokes for whole lotta fun. Send your friends, family and acquaintances, funny and witty April Fools Day cards. Upload their day fool of fun and make them roll all over with laughter. Share a slice of smile and amuse them witty and smart cards.

Morton Barry asked:


The best man speech’s jokes tend to set a lighter atmosphere to the people who attended the marriage ceremony. Jokes can be entertaining when correctly delivered but can also be threatening when overused. A reminder that must be remembered is they are meant to take the pressure off the speaker and keep the gang entertained.

often , the funny best man speech lasts only 5 to 10 minutes so one shouldn’t overcrowd the speech with jokes alone because it is not good to hear.

Some jokes that may be used are quotes from famous folks who have funny ideas about marriages and marriage like Benjamin Franklin, Stephen Leacock, and Helen Roland. Also, real life examples of wedded bliss situations can be employed. You may cite experiences too. It is just important to take note the tales must match the age of all of the guests in the marriage ceremony may they be children or oldsters already.

Some sayings that will get a great giggle are about the examples when the better half and the man are joking with each other. Another example would be jokes about in laws and relations who come in between the couples. These can incorporated to your funny best man speech.

although these jokes are supposed to make the people enjoy the party, they deserve to be straight to the point and quick. It is advised that the jokes in your funny best man speech should be as short as possible.

Thats it. With that, you should be well on your way to writing a captivating best man speech that really works with the crowd. I wish you the very best of luck.

Aradhana Gupta asked:


When you were small kid, you must have a wish to travel whole world and ultimately, you must had cried hard to get your desire fulfilled. At that time the situation must have forced you to satisfy yourself with dreams. But at present everything has changed, as world wide web has come up with a great option to watch the world with free TV show video. This may feel like a joke to every one but yes, the real fun has arrived back with the touch of technology. The universe of Internet is quite vast and every day infinite numbers of visitors visit these online video channels.

It doesn’t matter whether you belong to different ethnic or cultural background because the free video provides one of the best stuff in different languages spoken world wide. You never weave the situation, as everything happens coincidently. Similarly, there are times when with the help of intelligence and TV channels video clip, one can impress his/her spouse. Now don’t just ask how, but ask when? The answer will be that today is the best time to win the heart. You just have to follow some steps. First, start your conversation asking about his/her day and then after some time, come to your point about an idea to watch movie on web channels.

As it is obvious that you must have boated the time of the romantic flick. Then if she says yes, then you will whisper and rejoice over your achievement within your heart. The movie have started and in between you will see that she is talking to you and has held your hand. Meanwhile, when the movie will end your spouse will be with you for ever. This is what the story of every online visitor and they always say special thanks to these channels provider. Unlike earlier, they have to search for their favorite movie on every shop but now they just click on the start option and movie is played instantly.

Whether it’s a drama or comedy, free video channels will add the missing spice in your life again. The online video channels are not bound by any laws or limits but they wait for your command and once you give command it will take nano seconds or even fraction of it and you can share video channels online.

raam rahim asked:


Someone Posted a Video of Me Without Consent how do i Get the Video Taken Off? ,Pothigai TV telecost GIRAMIYA MANAM programme on 08-09-2009 @ 12.30 pm. why didn’t record & post it in the YouTube?Pothigai TV telecost the one Villupaattu Programme in the name of “GIRAMIYA MANAM” on 25-08-2009 @ 4.30pm and the same was retelecost on yesterday (08-09-2009) @ 12.30pm. One of my best friend has done that programme. Both the time, i was in the office only. So that i could not watch that programme. I am very thankful to you, if you post it in YouTube. How do i watch that programme in YouTube. Thanks a lot.

Your English is so atrocious that I am not even sure if I am understanding you correctly, but from what I can gather, you want a television program to be recorded and broadcast onto YouTube. That, my friend, is completely illegal, unless done by the official company that owns the rights to the show. I can pretty much guarantee that if you see it on YouTube, it will be uploaded illegally. However, this is not the place to ask for illegal favors.This forum is unmoderated and based on the nature of user helping user. Since only you are knowing the content of your video then I only can advice you to read the Terms of Service (www.youtube.com/t/terms) including the links mentioned in the first paragraph. Maybe you can find your violation there (e.g. Copyright Infringement?).

If you want to know if your account got suspended because of a terms of service violations, community guidelines violations or privacy policy’s violations then you can use the contact form:For those of you who don’t know how to do this, follow these steps:

1. Take a look at the embed code (see below). In bold you’ll see “YourChannelName”. This is where you’ll insert your YouTube username.2. Delete “YourChannelName” and replace it with your actual YouTube username.The first rule of handling a potential Internet revolt (whether justified or not) is to respond FAST. Whenever criticism builds, respond loudly and clearly to your users that you’re listening, interested, and willing to explore changes, and revolts will be quelled immediately.

In my humble opinion you’ve done almost everything wrong here. After 57 thousand angry comments on the blog, 9 thousand angry comments on the announcement video, dozens of “anti-beta” YouTube channels and online petitions against the change scattered all over the Internet, your response has been deafening silence, and the help page still promises a July 15th “forced migration” date. It’s completely unapparent whether or not anybody at YouTube has noticed the commotion. So what happens? The pitchforks are out, the voices are still getting louder and angrier and the ASCII art on the blog is getting bigger and more desperate. Some users commented they had flagged the video as “promotes hatred or violence”, and it wasn’t a joke.

YouTube, I can’t overstate how badly you’ve handled this. For such a huge site you ought to have something resembling a clue how to listen to and interact with your users! The single thing you didn’t do wrong is that you (apparently) haven’t censored any criticism. Thank goodness, or everyone would have gone ballistic. You got that right by accident though, because actually it’s completely typical for responses to the YouTube blogs to be ignored.

Even if you respond now, damage has already been done. Users incensed by the lack of response have probably already gone to their forums and chatrooms all over the web and posted comments along the lines of “YouTube ****. They keep making stupid changes and don’t listen to their users.” Because as long as you aren’t listening, we’ll tell anyone who will.

This doesn’t reflect well on Google either. If there is ever a major revolt against a Google change like this, it looks like you/Google will be completely incapable of handling it. How can you expect to control a billion angry web surfers?

While I do sort of look forward to the potential fun and chaos of a massive Internet-wide revolt against Google, I suggest you get a clue. YouTubers have raised big objections to the design of the new channels, aggrandized by the fact that social website users will generally resist and reject major change to their pages, whether they’re improvements or not. It’s like getting up and finding someone switched your car for a different (newer) model overnight, while losing your toolkit and personally chosen seat covers (analogy to the channel backgrounds, etc). You’d feel indignant, right?

Finally: I *HATE* the new channels. They’re a functional and asthetic regression in almost every way. A few users prefer them, but because of the complaints almost no-one thinks the change should be forced like it is. You should help the angry users because their anger won’t go away. It’ll be hidden for a while, but it will come flooding back at a later date the next time there’s a problem.

I’ve seen many of you discussing that you’re having trouble downloading your uploaded videos (to MP4). The majority of you mention that the “Download to MP4″ button sometimes doesn’t appear next to your videos, and so you’re unable to download your video.

Jhoana Cooper asked:


In addition to playing music, most bands tell band jokes to liven up the crowd. Some of them are funny and get everyone laughing. Good band jokes are those that are not offensive or corny and give everyone a laugh. Bad jokes are those that are inappropriate for the situation.

There are plenty of good band jokes for band members to tell at weddings, parties and other occasions. Obviously, there are some jokes that should not be told at certain functions at they are bound to cast a pall upon the occasion and some bad jokes may end up having the guests ask you to leave. Many parties have been broken up because of bands telling band jokes that they thought were funny, but others found to be in poor taste.

When you think of bad jokes, you may think about tired old jokes that everyone has heard before. These may be bad, but not as bad as telling an off color joke at a bar mitzvah in front of a bunch of kids. If you have a band and want to tell band jokes to liven up the crowd, be sure to choose jokes that will be appropriate for the occasion.

There is an old urban legend about band jokes at a wedding. The singer got up and decided to take a break from singing and liven up the crowd by telling jokes. He decided to tell a joke he had heard from a friend. The problem was that the joke was not a made up tale, but a true revelation about the bride. The groom felt that the band member was insulting his wife by telling bad jokes about her. The bride was mortified. The singer and the groom ended up in jail because of a fight. Apparently, it was not a good idea for the band member to start telling band jokes and should have saved his voice for singing.

This is an urban legend, although like all urban legends, it has a ring of truth to it. The thing that makes these stories so plausible is that they can actually happen. Anyone who wants to tell jokes at a party or celebration better be aware of the origination of the joke and be sure that it is right for the occasion. Telling bad jokes can end up getting someone into a lot of hot water and is not good for any band.

You can find band jokes that are not bad jokes by going online. When you go online, you will find hundreds of good jokes that are ideal for any occasion. Remember that the same jokes you choose for a bachelor party may not be appropriate for a 50th wedding anniversary with the entire family present. Telling good jokes that are right for the occasion just takes knowing how to find the jokes and using a bit of common sense.

Funny-stuff.net asked:


“People love to laugh, in fact the average person laughs around 17 times per day. Laughter is big business nowadays, simply because laughing feels good.

A great way to develop a relationship with someone (romantic, plutonic, or professional) is to laugh with them. Laughter is also said to have great benefits in the workplace. Taking some time out to laugh everyday will help you shed any bad feelings and allow you to fully concentrate on the day ahead. When you feel good about yourself and the atmosphere around you, your work will go a lot quicker with much better quality.

Laughter can even actually help improve your overall health, perhaps even fight off disease. Humor is like a medicine. It will lower your blood pressure and release endorphins in your brain. This will create a general sense of wellbeing, which will help you fight fatigue. When you laugh, you will actually start to feel better and more content.

Luckily, it’s easy to find humor everywhere. You might like to read the funny comics in your newspaper, share jokes with your friends, or listen to late night comedians.

Better yet, you can look online and find a tremendous variety of wild, crazy, and funny videos for free online. Unfortunately there’s just so many videos to choose from, it can be hard to spend your time on just the funniest stuff.

Luckily, blogs like www.funny-stuff.net have compiled the funniest videos on the internet all for you, so you don’t have to search any longer.

I don’t like giving out my e-mail to joke of the day sites, you just end up getting a lot of spam. Personally, I don’t think anything gets better than funny videos. Plus, they’re free for you to enjoy so you can’t beat that.

Kingsley Modozie asked:


1. Think fruits and vegetables: Make sure you get your minimum of 5 portions of vegetables each day. It is not as hard as you think, and there is a great scientific evidence of the benefits this can bring. It provides essential antioxidants, vitamins and minerals that the body needs to function in order to fight diseases, in addition they help the healthy snacks you take to boost anti-oxidant level. All types of fruit and vegetable counts, however, don’t think you could just drink a pack or cartoon of prepared juice with sugar and preservatives and count it as portion or servings. It’s a big no. It should be in their raw organic state and no creams or sugar added. There are new ways of adding fruit and vegetables to your diet, consider buying a blender to make your own fruit smoother and always add vegetables (pumpkin and green leaves) to whatever you are eating. Let vegetables make the bulk of your meal, and always put salad on your sandwiches. This is one of the best diet tip for fat loss which you should not joke with.

2. Drink lots of water: It’s one of the best things you can do to loose fat, considering that we lose 2.5 liters of water a day while at rest, its no wonder most of us end up feeling sluggish by the end of the day, and on top of this we loose another couple of liters through giving form of exercise (one hour walk, for example, its easy to become dehydrated). Water will boost your energy levels and help your concentration, in addition it keeps your digestive system working efficiently, helping you to metabolize fat and get rid of toxins. Some water replacement comes from food, fruits and vegetables. For example it has water content which is more efficient if you are active. Don’t wait until you are thirsty. The body’s thirst is usually slow by the time you feel thirsty, by then you would have become dehydrated. Remember that fizzy drinks, fruit juice (processed fruit juice) don’t count. Some of them contain caffeine which is a diuretic that can actually accelerate water loss from the body. It is another best tip for fat loss which you should include into your day-to-day diet.

3.Have breakfast (no heavy breakfast) I am not talking about sausages, bacon, fried canned beef, omelet with 6-8 slices of white bread or sugar frosted cereals, the breakfast meal here is very light food or just a drink (fruit) The whole point of breakfast is to “break” the overnight “fast” and kick start your metabolism. Eating a healthy breakfast could help control your weight by providing the right type of fuel for your body, by eating foodstuffs that release energy slowly like oat meal, (salad bowl is a serving), 2 slices of wheat bread with one-half boiled egg and a glass of freshly made fruit juice. If that option is too much, 2 apples can be your breakfast or a cup of herb tea. Please never add milk to herb teas, only lemon or a bit of ginger can be added. The bottom line is that your diet should never be heavy or else you go back to bed or end up being weak and tired, especially if your lifestyle is sedentary. People who miss breakfast are likely to experience mid-morning hunger pangs and may reach for high fat, unhealthy snacks. Also one of the best fat loss diet tip you shouldn’t take for granted.

4.Eat healthy snack: Stop eating high calorie and fat laden snacks and you could lose up to 0.5kg in just one week. You will be surprised how the empty calories add up on a daily basis. Try taking fruit or even nuts (for nuts the size of barley’s palm is a portion) and a portion is just okay. Let your fridge be full of carrots, cucumber, oranges, grape fruits, apples etc, healthy fruits to snack on and not meat pies, cakes, doughnut, chips, biscuits; other words: no baked or fried treats.

5.Little and often: Eating little and often is most recommended. Not only is eating smaller portions (no more than 2 fistful of food at any one sitting). Be kind to your digestive system than huge meals, but it also helps you balance out your food intake on a even basis throughout the day, so you shouldn’t experience pronounced energy highs and lows. Most trainers accept this as one of the best fat loss diet tips for losing healthy fat.

6.Eat lean: Apart from making low fat-food calories, the other major area in which you can reduce fat intake is in food preparation. Try following these tips to help you eat lean and reduce fat consumption. Avoid shallow and deep fried food e.g. fried plantain, fried yam, fried potato. Frying adds a significant quantity of fat to food and are best avoided. Practice low cooking; there are quite a few cooking methods that do not require the addition of fat. The healthiest is steaming (this is fast, fat-free and causes minimal nutrient loss) unlike frying that destroys all the nutrients. Other ways to include are boiling, wasting or grilling. Cut back the fat; always reduce as much fat as possible prior to cooking meals such as stew. If possible, chill meats, stew and soup after cooking, so the oil rises on top and solidifies. This can then be removed before reheating thoroughly.

7.Portion control is important: However, if you eat more calories than your body needs for energy, the excess will be stored as fat, so make sure you try and distinguish between hunger, appetite and eat sensible amounts. Include this fat loss diet tip into your meal plan, it is one of the best most trainers recommend.

If you wish to lose weight fast and easy through dieting, I highly recommend FatLoss4Idiots Diet Program, it has been around the internet for quiet a long time and over then it has helped thousands of people lose fat and look slim and the good news is that it delivers positive results. Check it out at http://fatloss4idiotsreviews.blogspot.com

Neil Bakewell asked:


As Best Man you have a responsibility for a great many things on the big day. The most important however will be to give a great best mans speech. Now the prospect of doing this is likely to fill you with absolute dread. Dont worry about this you are not alone. Public Speaking is generally accepted as being one of the publics biggest fears often outranking death in surveys.

Traditionally the Best Mans speech replies on behalf of the Bridesmaids for the toast just offered by the Bridegroom. He then moves on to give a speech mainly focused on the Bridegroom.

Many Best Men get hung up about humour in their speeches. A series of gags out of a joke book is no substitute for stories about the groom or the couple. Stories are the way to go in a best mans speech. At my own wedding my best man gave a great speech made up of stories about me in which he tried to prove that he was the better man very clever!

Try to find somewhere between three and five stories that you can link together to become your speech.

If you are married yourself give a few words of advice to the groom something like Forget about your mistakes as a husband, theres no point in both of you remembering.

Things to avoid are smutty comments about the Grooms past this is not the stag night!

Also stay clear of comments about the bride unless of course they are glowing!

Also its best to hold back on the booze. Far too many best mans speeches have been ruined by drunkenness. Save the booze for after speech. Trust me youll thank me for it.

chinesefunnyjokes asked:


Some Popular SMS Jokes below:

We’ve known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?

I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!

Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World……… So Plz start brushing regularly

When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!

My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a “Tubelight

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don’t care, me don’t cry, me just happy that a cow can’t fly!

Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

I want u… To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light dinner…. & to say say those sweet three words to U…. “Pay The Bill”

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.

Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.

Come from www.chinesefunnyjokes.com